GQ kills irony as Tony Blair wins Philanthropist of the Year

3 September 2014

Satire died when Henry Kissinger won the Nobel Peace Prize, said Tom Lehrer. Now irony has followed it to the grave. GQ’s Philanthropist of the Year is Tony Blair. And no, this isn’t some cunning wind-up by the magazine. They gave the former PM a bauble at a ceremony last night. I’d like to say that Blair looks suitably embarrassed holding it, but nope. Neither he nor the lady wife ‘do’ embarrassment.

Even nice Gary Lineker had a go at GQ on Twitter. ‘People will be greatly concerned and wonder if this was the right decision,’ he tweeted when the news came through. They will indeed wonder. Employing four-letter words, I suspect.

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I would love to have been at the Condé Nast meeting at which this one was agreed. I won’t risk a libel action by speculating about the conversation, but please let your imaginations roam. The tribute to the winner on GQ’s website reads: ‘In 2007 Tony Blair stepped down as prime minister, but his surging momentum’s shown no signs of slowing.’ So that’s another ceremony to look forward to: Private Eye awards Dylan Jones the Order of the Brown Nose (OBN).

Now, look, as TB likes to say. I’m not denying that the man is a philanthropist. The term traditionally refers to rich men who give to charity, usually by setting up foundations. The cap fits. Blair is not only a very rich man but, like many such individuals, deliciously evasive when asked how rich he is. He has three foundations. One to promote good governance in Africa, one to provide sports coaches for kids in the North East, and one to reconcile ‘the three Abrahamic faiths’. Bit more work to do on that last project, I would have said, but presumably GQ thinks things are moving in the right direction.

I’m just worried that, now Blair is Philanthropist of the Year, philanthropy itself is going to go out of fashion. Rich men and women will associate it with all the other stuff he and Cherie do (again, I won’t go into detail) and think: sod it, I’ll buy a private island instead.

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Show comments
  • Doanzorat

    They should have awarded him “Vile Mendacious Warmonger of the Year”. More accurate.

  • Nicholas I

    His philanthropy consists of giving little white kids to aliens.

  • Nicholas I

    Of course he’s a sc*mbag, but at least he’s not jew. Well, he could be though. Actually, he’s the same as anyway. Just ignore this.

  • Fergus Pickering

    WTF is GQ? No, don’t tell me. I don’t need to know.

    • Monro

      It’s a bit like GCHQ, only without the intelligence.

  • jesseventura2

    And if the two disturbed Londonistan Sambos had got this vermin instead of Lee Rigby there would have been world wide celebrations?

  • anon

    Are you shitting me? Is this a horrible joke? An alternate reality?

    Turns out doublethink and doubletalk actually happened while we weren’t paying attention.

  • Barry

    Type GQ Award into eBay’s search engine (hat tip to Guido Fawkes for that).

  • Anne

    No words are possible. He should be in the dock at THE HAGUE for war crimes. What more can be done to utterly show us up as a complete joke.

    • red2black

      Keep insisting he’s a Socialist and give him a Knighthood and a seat in the House of Lords. (snick snick)

  • evad666

    Where did he receive the award his face suggests somewhere unpleasant

  • John welsh

    More ad hominem Blair baiting.
    When are you guys going to get over him?

  • happymike Chester


  • evad666

    Have he and his wife got teams on the ground in Rochdale, Rotherham, Derby, Bristol, Carlisle and all the other places suffering the depredations of Muslim child abusers preying on underage white girls.?

    • red2black

      And if so, how long have these teams of Catholics been in place? (arf arf)

  • Span Ows

    I think the reconciling of ‘the three Abrahamic faiths is impossible. Also there are not three because Islam is not a ‘faith’; it is a violent ideology. In fact if we need to associate it with Judaism and Christianity perhaps we should call it what it is, the antithesis of them; more accurate in ‘religious’ terms to call it evil, based on Satan. When you think of it like that suddenly everything becomes clearer. Blair is pretty evil, perhaps his ‘religion and conversion to Catholicism etc is really taqiyya?

    • red2black

      The only source of evil in the world is people.

    • Nicholas I

      Islam is talmudic.

  • LindsayvanNiekerk

    Has he had work done on his face – looking very youthful

  • Jackthesmilingblack

    Ted Heath, in recognition of his work with orphans.

  • davidofkent

    There seem to be rather a lot of comments awaiting moderation. How odd! Is there an explanation?

    • red2black

      They’re trying to pretend Blair wasn’t a Tory? (tee hee)

      • oldoddjobs

        Stalin was bad therefore he was a rabid right-winger

    • Donafugata

      Yes, I noticed that.

      The one on Benjamin Netanyahu seems to be acceptable though.

  • hamurana

    Philanthropist indeed! The slimy little turd would not put a button in the church collection unless it does not match his trousers.

  • Tarik Toulan

    The above photo is very expressive, indeed. Tony himself looks surprised … Perhaps at winning the award? : )

  • Radford_NG

    GQ in association with Hugo Boss;a company those history doesn’t bear looking into.

    • Donafugata

      Designer of those very attractive Waffen SS uniforms, black was the new black even then.

  • Jackthesmilingblack

    I’d like to nominate Jimmy Savile as necrophiliac of the year.
    “What do you mean, necrophilia? I thought she was English.”

  • Jackthesmilingblack

    Give him a break, Damian. Blair is a Catholic after all. Although some would argue Satanist would be a more apt definition.

  • saffrin

    Well, if the taxpayer spending £10 million a year keeping Liar alive isn’t good cause enough for the public to be awarded a GQ prize, why do we bovver?
    Let’s face it, the only good cause Blair is involved in is stashing a huge offshore trust fund for the kids, and we all know that’s more about dodging the taxman than it is about his children’s future welfare…right?

  • CraigStrachan

    No, he doesn’t look suitably embarrassed. He does, however, look curiously like Tony Benn in that photograph.

  • William Clark

    Why is the creature not in gaol?

    • saffrin

      Because the entire system is corrupt.

    • Tarik Toulan

      Don’t worry; he’s already in the jail of abhorrence wherever he goes.

  • Mrs Josephine Hyde-Hartley

    The term philanthropists traditionally refers to rich men ( often rags to riches type) who built housing, hospitals and donated beautiful parkland, or even distributed Bibles, to the real members of some local community, where I come from.

    I’m not sure what charities do anymore apart from shops on the high street.

  • goatmince

    I know this is a bit early in the year to be raising the issue but one day, when the chap in question finds his ultimate nirvana, will we see the officials of the UK Top 40 Single Charts faking the charts again like they did the other day?
    My hunch is no.
    So Bliar has not quite yet arrived.

  • Richard

    This brings to mind Eva Braun’s home movies of herself, AH and friends. Somebody sings about AH being a “lieblingsblume” (love-flower). That is about as accurate as TB being called a philanthropist. It goes way beyond irony, into the realm of Hieronymus Bosch, or, quite frankly, Beelzebub.

  • GUBU

    GQ have asked Mullah Abu Bakr al Baghdadi to edit their next supplement on luxury watches. He knows a quality ticker when he sees one…

  • Malcolm McCandless

    Tony Blair, May 1997, “Mine is the first generation able to contemplate the possibility that we may live our entire lives without going to war or sending our children to war.”

    Tony Blair on being named GQ’s 2014 ‘Philanthropist of the Year’, “I would like to dedicate this award to the people that work with and for my organisations. I feel the pulse of progress beating a little harder.”

    Looks the profits of bloody conflict has given one of Westminster’s b@stard sons the considerable ability to be flush with money.

    • The Laughing Cavalier

      He didn’t send his children to war. He sent other men’s sons to die in their stead.

  • AndrewMelville

    Blair is a very successful whore. Let’s give him due credit.

    • Richard

      It would be a public-service if his surname was changed to Horwood, sort of as a warning on a cigarette-packet.

  • Callan

    Over on the Daily Mail certain people have responded to this news with fulsome praise for the “man” and his accomplishments which have received green arrows of approval by the thousands. How did he manage to pull that stunt I wonder. Cherie must have blisters on her fingers.

    • GUBU

      It could of course be Wendi Deng, frantically upticking as she fantasises about the Philanthropist of the Year’s rear end.

      If you’re right, I’m sure Mrs Blair has acquired very dextorous digits, honed by years of expertly fingering the stock in luxury stores across the globe.

  • Terry Field

    This is great news.
    No doubt The Coliseum will win the building of the bimillennium for social get-togethers with animals and friends.

  • Aberrant_Apostrophe

    Someone at GQ magazine clearly doesn’t understand the difference between ‘philanthropist’ and ‘egotistical maniacal mass murderer’.

    • Terry Field

      Oh dear, what a clunky response.
      D minus.
      Must try harder.

      • Aberrant_Apostrophe

        Nice to see you read the Speccie, Tony.

        • Terry Field

          God, have you READ my comments?!?

          • Aberrant_Apostrophe

            God, might have. I haven’t.

            • Terry Field

              That explains your absurd post.

      • IainRMuir

        Thank you, Oscar Wilde.

    • Richard

      Perhaps they can’t manage too many adjectives? And think about the syllables.

  • sfin

    GQ’s circulation must be tanking.

    This smacks of desperate publicity.

  • Donafugata

    The foundation to reconcile the three Abrahamic faiths is half-way there, Islam will inherit the world, if that’s all right with everybody else.

    Good governance in Africa seems a tad Sisyphian though.

    I remember a time when the enterprising Cherie would sell copies of his signature on e-bay and they were hardy paupers at the time.
    Imagine the mentality it takes to be bothered to do that.

    • Richard

      Imagine? Why imagine? It was paraded in front of us on LBC each night.

    • GUBU

      You’re being very unkind. That was, as we all know, simply market research.

      And one can only admire Mrs Blair’s handling skills at the helm of a supermarket trolley. By all accounts, they would have put Colin McCrae to shame – and he didn’t have the additional challenge of emptying any shelves he passed of their stock.

  • Kitty MLB

    Do we now live in cloud cuckoo land.
    Tony Blair..he that became rich on the back of politics and with blood on his hands and his dark void of a soul sold to satan.

    The moving finger writes, and having writ, moves on:
    nor all thy piety nor wit shall lure it back to cancel half a line,
    nor all thy tears wash out a word of it.

  • Nigel Tipple

    You are all being far too beastly! This is a man whose contribution to the World is probably unsurpassed in the history of Mankind. A man of towering genius and selfless devotion to…erm, free holidays wherever he can get them, which is the stuff of undiminished love and affection from a grateful public ( if Judith Chalmers and Cliff Michelmore were still doing that holiday programme, they’d be out of a job) Without his commitment to World Peace we would be in terrible trouble.
    By the way, have a look at that photo of him above. It’s perfectly obvious he can barely contain his laughter. At least he gets the irony.

  • Lina R

    And next year the award’s going to Benjamin Netanyahu.

    • InRussetShadows

      Is he a philanthropist? And are you disagreeing with his policy positions or are you trying for a snide little antisemitism?

      • Lina R

        It seems dropping bombs on innocent people doesn’t automatically discount you from winning this award.

        • Hexhamgeezer


        • Terry Field

          Another clunky humourless response.
          E minus
          Do not try harder except strictly in private.

        • Vera

          Didn’t the EU get the Nobel Peace Prize?

      • Kitty MLB

        Oh come on, he made money because of idiotic people
        ‘Obsessed with famous people’ paid to hear this miscreant of a failed morally wrong Prime Minister speak. Even Gordon ‘ bonkers’ Brown is doing the same. People are very gullible. I wonder if the Islamics
        who live here will eventually put up a statue of Blair.

  • Rodolph de Salis

    Philanthropy of having relieved the hereditary peerage of its duty to having to aid and abet our body politic, and then all but having given away Scotland.

  • MKS

    Labour has destroyed this country and now as we know they were looking after “statistics” and not Children in Rotherham. Who was the PM ? RT Hon Philanthropist Tony Blair of course.

  • Peter Stroud

    I don’t believe it!

    • Kitty MLB

      Its rather like Vlad the Impailer winning an award for showing humanity or King Herod winning an award for child
      care..this really is, la la land.

  • vircantium


  • MKS

    “TonyBlair has won GQ’s philanthropist of the year award”.If Edinburgh Fringe was on, GQ would win the funniest Joke award.

  • Diggery Whiggery

    I feel sick.

  • post_x_it

    Never mind Kissinger’s Nobel Peace Prize. What about Obama’s? Or is that irrelevant on the basis that satire had already died by that point?

    • Ricky Strong

      And the EU’s.

      • post_x_it

        Thanks for reminding me. You’ve just ruined my week all over again. Now where was that bucket?

    • InRussetShadows

      That the author didn’t immediately think of Obama’s Nobel Peace Prize (when he had been in office for a few months) shows you something.

      • Jamie

        No, it’s just not pertinent. Obama was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize, having simply done nothing to justify it. Kissinger was awarded it after carpet-bombing Cambodia. That’s what killed satire.

        • Terry Field

          He got it because all the rest are violent psychopaths and he had simply not had time to get round to being such. And his suntan was a help.

      • post_x_it

        Any more of these and I’ll be forced to declare myself misanthrope of the year.

    • Lonestar76

      No, it’s because Obama is black so it would be racist to knock him.

    • The Laughing Cavalier

      Obama got his for a few weeks of not being G.W. Bush.

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