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Audio: Penny Mordaunt gives the ‘Loyal Address’ following the Queen’s Speech

4 June 2014

Penny Mordaunt, the Conservative MP for Portsmouth North, become the second women in the Queen’s reign to give the Loyal Address — Parliament’s formal thanks to the Monarch for her speech — this afternoon. It’s a fantastic speech, full of gags which had the House in stitches.

As James remarked, Tory associations will be queueing up to book her for after dinner speeches. Listen to the audio in full here:

Don’t have time for the whole thing? Here are the highlights:

Mordaunt was one of two women involved in the Loyal Address – it was seconded by Lib Dem Annette Brooke. Are the two the ‘Thelma and Louise’ of the Parliament? No: ‘Unlike a 1966 Thunderbird, this coalition is right-hand drive’.

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She praised her training by the Royal Navy (with which she is a reservist) – but was a lecture on ‘how to care for your penis and testicles in the field’ sufficiently appreciative of the fact that some of those attending had been ‘issued with the incorrect kit’?

Her appearance on TV diving competition Splash! meant money for the Hilsea Lido – but the loss of dignity:

A Tudor Manor has been saved for use by the community in Mordaunt’s constituency. And it’s been named for the man who made it possible:

Mordaunt is the second woman to give the Loyal Address in Queen Elizabeth II’s reign. The first was Lady Tweedsmuir – who gave a better account of herself than Hugh Gaitskell, the leader of the opposition, who was replying. But Gaistkell’s remarks put today’s leader of the opposition, Ed Miliband, in something of a bind…

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Show comments
  • Blindsideflanker

    She fails to mention that her Government has closed the last English naval ship building facility and moved it to Scotland to bribe the Scots.

  • Tim

    Not that good – seemed to play on the fact, too much, that she’s an attractive woman. Competent, well read, but not that funny or insightful.

    Just shows what a low bar we have these days.

  • bugshead

    She is rather tasty !

    • Grey Wolf

      And has on a nice shirt.

  • DaveTheRave

    I don’t care about the speech, nor the loyal address: There’s simply nothing here to help the true people. Left and Right are irrelevant terms now. What matters is getting control back of ‘our country’ (England) by quitting the EU and helping the unheard masses feel a part of the process. If this smacks of crazy mixed up politics, ask yourself: is it really any crazier than what we already have?

    • whs1954

      Oh God, does absolutely everything have to come back to UKIP and the EU?

      • DaveTheRave

        When the future of England (Yes, that’s right, England, I say that unashamedly), the time and money we have invested in it is at stake, quite frankly YES! When your boat is sinking you don’t stop bailing out, you keep at it hard until such a time you figure it’s worthless. So – are we at that point now?

    • Grumpy

      So you are not interested in women, then?

  • Adam Carter

    She’s a pretty girl, isn’t she?
    But how much of her speech was she reading?
    We shouldn’t give her a free pass on that just because she is a woman; that would be sexist.

    • McRobbie

      Patronising git…and how many people do not write their speeches before hand and either read them from paper or from memory….I presume you consider that reading from memory is a male thing. She was brilliant.

      • Adam Carter

        Ignorant idiot.
        There, having responded to your your insult I’ll explain why you are wrong.
        Of course people write and rehearse their speeches, and memorise most of them. But part of a speaker’s skill is to conceal the fact that they are reading.
        Few people would think that the great and memorable speeches were not rehearsed:
        ‘We shall fight them on the beaches…we shall never surrender.’
        ‘Ask not what your country can do for you…’
        ‘I have a dream…’ were not spontaneous thoughts, but were presented in tones of speaking, not reading.
        Look at speeches by Ronald Reagan. On our side of the Atlantic, and different politics, search for something by Tony Benn.
        If you think Ms. Mourdant matched that skuill then you’ve got a tin ear.
        Another part of a speaker’s skill set is the ability to extemporise. Although that ability might still be present in a reader there is always an element of doubt which will persist until successful extemporisation is demonstrated.
        As for your ‘I presume…’, that is ridiculous. You’ve got no basis for that presumption at all. This MP is an MP, whether or not she is a woman shouldn’t have an importance when rating a speech.
        I’m happy to have the chance to correct you on this; you’re welcome. (There now, that’s patronising.)

        • McRobbie

          Lengthy, but not very convincing.

      • Adam Carter

        I’ll happily plead ‘Guilty’ to the sexism of my opening comment that she’s a pretty girl.
        You can take it as seriously, or as light-heartedly as you like.
        That’s up to you and I don’t care what your response to it is.
        (Oops, patronising again. perhaps)

  • Ted Cunterblast

    My goodness, she’s rather fetching isn’t she? Mmmm.

    • MC73

      I would.

  • Ollie

    That was Brilliant. Witty, but I must admit, I didn’t understand some of the references, like the MP she referred to as being overwhelmed if she came in in her sailor’s uniform, why that MP in particular?

    • MartinWW

      The main reason, I supposed, is that Bob Stewart MP for Beckenham is an ex-military officer.

  • Andy

    A brilliant speech !!

    • Ricky Strong

      With fantastic delivery I must add.

      • telemachus

        And Miliband answered her challenge with aplomb

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