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Coffee Shots: Alex Salmond’s beautiful game

27 May 2014

Alex Salmond is a deft political player, but perhaps he’s best kept on the political pitch, rather than one involving footballs. Here’s what happened when he came into contact with the latter today:

Scottish cabinet meeting in Rutherglen

Scottish cabinet meeting in Rutherglen

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  • HJ777

    Not a man accustomed to physical activity.

    • justejudexultionis

      Like most of the British cabinet then.

      • HJ777

        Like some of the cabinet, but certainly not all. Not sure whether it is a majority or not.

        George Osborne and Theresa May, for example, are quite physically fit (by the standards of politicians anyway), as is Nick Clegg.

  • Maidmarrion

    And does one get paid for the puerile?

  • Maidmarrion

    Was this worthwhile ?

  • Kitty MLB

    Alex Salmond looks like a Morris Dancer in one of those pictures, how amusing.

    • El_Sid

      More like Riverdance.

  • RavenRandom

    Is the second photo Salmond at the Ministry of Silly Walks?

  • Malcolm McCandless

    Mon Scotland.

    I predict Scotland 2, Nigeria 1.

    • you_kid

      are the odds fixed on that?

    • Kitty MLB

      Scotland are good at sport, so I have been told by those who know.
      Jambo, Ally and Hamish. I am sure the boys wouldn’t be telling porkies.

      • Fergus Pickering

        If they are good why don’t they ever win?

        • Kitty MLB

          You hold your haggis Fergus old fellow. Scotland is a sporting nation ( so they say) Good at water sports, cycling,
          tossing those polls , tennis and good at rugby ( although
          not too sure about that ) they are bad at cricket. And golf
          bores me to the back teeth but they say they are good at that. So you just be nice. Mind you Andy Murray plays
          for England not Scotland, especially when he wins.

          • Fergus Pickering

            Well yes. You’ve convinced me. They are good at some sports.

            • Kitty MLB

              Fergus dear, its probably right that they are only good at some
              sports. Can you just imagine Alec Salmond exploding with pride.

        • Jambo25

          Possibly because we only have a population of just over 5,000,000 we don’t win all that much in team sports. Mind you, in the FIFA rankings England (Population-50 odd million) stands at 11 while Scotland (Population-5.3 million.) are at 22. However we do seem fairly able to turn out top class individual competitors in various sports. Probably way above the numbers we should, statistically achieve.

          • HJ777

            That’s true, of course. Scotland has turned out some very good sports men and women.

            For example, Kath Grainger, who would have been deprived of her four Olympic team rowing and sculling medals had Scotland been separately represented at the Olympics.

            That would have ben a pity as she is both a proud Scot and a proud member of the Great Britain international rowing squad.

            • Jambo25

              Yes, because sculling would be banned in Scotland.

              • HJ777

                Kath Grainger won all her Olympic sculling medals in crew boats. In every case, and when she won her single sweep rowing medal, she did it with crewmates from England (and, on one occasion, in a quad with a crewmate from Scotland) as part of the GB team.

                None of those medals would have been won by an all-Scottish crew.

                Before you claim that she could/would have done as well or better in a single scull, then consider that the GB quad ALWAYS prioritises whichever boats have the best chance of a medal, especially a gold medal. Had the single been the best chance, that is the boat she would have been in. And Kath is a ‘crew boat girl’ anyway. How do I know this? Because she told me, that’s how.

                Kath has also benefitted from being part of the world’s best high performance rowing organisation (i.e. the GB squad) from which she would have been excluded had Scotland left the UK. Alternatively, she could have decided not to represent Scotland and instead compete against Scotland.

                • Jambo25

                  How do you know that there wouldn’t have been Scottish crewmates for Grainger had there been a separate Scottish team structure? How, for that matter, would Grainger, herself, know? You are talking counterfactuals here.
                  If Ms Grainger felt that she had to declare herself rUK or English to further her rowing career then that would be entirely up to her.

                • HJ777

                  Because the best Scots currently participate in the GB team and if they had been of sufficient standard they would have been selected in the boat with her.

                  As it was, only one was – Gillian Lindsay (in Sydney).

                  Had there been an all-Scottish crew boat, it would not have got near the medal podium.

                  The reason why Kath Grainger and I know these things is because we both know our subject – whereas you do not. Had Scotland been independent, Kath Grainger would also have had to satisfy residency criteria to qualify for the GB team which would have ruled out a key period of her international rowing career. Neither is it likely that a Scotland-only team could have attracted people like Paul Thompson to coach.

                  In any case, it is a strange advocate for independence who suggests that people from that would-be independent country should reject their country in favour of another if they want to be successful.

                  It would also have been a great pity if all the Scottish schools and clubs had missed out on participating in the National Schools Regatta last weekend or been excluded (as they would have to be under the eligibility rules) from the British Junior Championships in July. These are great events where juniors from all over the UK compete together in a great spirit. A separate Scottish event would hardly be as satisfying, having perhaps only a tenth of the entries.

                • Jambo25

                  You really don’ get it: do you? Ms Grainger may or may not have won an Olympic medal for Scotland. I don’t care that much. Like the vast majority of the population I do not think the world exists in order to allow an individual athlete to row, swim, cycle or run a certain distance in a certain time. I’m willing to pay taxes to fund elite athletes but success in the medals sense is not something I’ll lose much sleep over.
                  You also seem to make the mistake of thinking that big is necessarily better, in sporting terms. It isn’t. I’d far rather go to watch Hearts play as a team with which I’ve got an emotional and spatial connection than watch the over-hyped grotesquerie of the EPL.

                • HJ777

                  Clearly, it is you who doesn’t get it.

                  Your argument was all about how I was supposedly wrong, then having been exposed as not knowing what you are talking about, you change tack and say that you just don’t care anyway.


                  By the way, faster IS better in rowing and sculling.

                • Jambo25

                  Are you suffering from some kind of

  • Hello

    Lovely posture. He could have been a ballet dancer.

    • GUBU


      He looks almost like a young Nijinsky in that middle photograph.

      Albeit a young Nijinsky who has lived on a diet of Haggis suppers and Irn Bru since childhood.

  • CraigStrachan

    I always said he was a pure heid-the-baw.

  • Mark

    That kick is known as the “goose-step technique” which was used by Germany in the 1938 World Cup.

  • telemachus

    Alex is a genius
    Scots worship their footballers
    Those that are competent that is

    • Wessex Man

      is there no one that you don’t hate?

      • telemachus

        There is such
        A charismatic individual
        And of course Kitty

        • Makroon

          The ‘charismatic one’ ‘s efforts on the Association Football field, were a thing of rare beauty to behold.
          He magnificently ate all the pies.

  • London Calling

    I think its called the barn dance isnt it? some folk move or another…..was the ball made in England? kicked into the long grass,,,,,oops salmond plays hit and miss, lets hope the snakes dont get to him before the No vote does………tee hee…….:O

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