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Keith Vaz on the smarm offensive

14 April 2014

Keith Vaz was in full oil slick mode on Friday night when he found himself as the only Labour MP at the Asian Business Awards in Waterloo. Surrounded by dozens of Tories, including Priti Patel, Alok Sharma and Shailesh Vara, Vaz laid it on thick, telling the audience ‘that was the best speech I’ve ever heard from a politician to Asian audience.’ Who was worthy of such high praise? Why, none other than Labour’s favourite bogeyman Michael Gove.

Vaz continued: ‘I was almost tempted to defect; but I’ll wait until next year’. Well, creeping around the enemy never did John Bercow’s campaign to become the Speaker any harm.

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  • Terry Field

    Vaz is sufficiently oily for him to be quoted on the exchanges as an oil company. One of the eight sisters,

  • Baron

    Vaz joining the Tories? Hmmm, is there no max to the depth the once great party of Winston would sink?

  • Graeme S

    One of my worst nightmares is to be trapped either in a lift or in a life boat with the smarmy bugger Vas.. It would be horrible

    • Doggie Roussel

      Pass the vaseline, Vas…

      • Darnell Jackson

        Why does he have the vaseline?

        • Stephen52

          Oooer, don’t go there, I wouldn’t.

    • anotherjoeblogs

      he would be handy to be stuck in a prison cell with though – you could squeeze his arm and collect the grease that would ooze out and grease yersel down and slip between the prison bars

  • Doggie Roussel

    As a youth, Keith Vaz sought counsel from those people who dispensed career guidance advice when leaving secondary education…

    What are your strengths, Keith, asked the jobsworth, entrusted to guide Keith toward his future:

    I am: unbelievably slimy

  • Doggie Roussel

    Keith Vaz… something so vile that even his name elides with sleaze…

  • Hexhamgeezer

    Is it true that gastropod Keith has banned salt in the HoC?

  • channel.fog

    They wouldn’t, would they? Not Vaz as Speaker?

  • swatnan

    ‘Oleogenous’ must be his middle name.
    Always reminds me of that Dickensian character Heep, always ‘umble, very ‘umble Master Copperfield. But he has run the Home Affairs Select Committee quite well considering, and done much better than whatshername Yvette Cooper.

    • Doggie Roussel

      Possibly… after a mud wrestling contest with the present incumbent, Bercow…with Bercow’s second wanting a bit more colour in her life…

  • Tom W Huxley

    One day he’s going to see himself on television and choke on his own vomit.

    • Doggie Roussel

      I thought Pistorius had the patent on that…

  • Doh

    Keith Vaz offensive.
    ’nuff said.

  • Wilky1

    Who’s he jumping ship to? UKIP?

    • wobble

      Parkhurst ? ….there is always hope !

  • Colonel Mustard

    What would the Non-Asian Business Awards be called? Apart from that. Which would be considered highly offensive.

    • HookesLaw

      Why does America have a black police association?

      These groups exist I suppose because everybody else perceives them as different.

      • Colonel Mustard

        Britain also has a ‘National Black Police Officers Association’:-

        Laudable aims but whether this racial differencing is a good thing in a country that is vociferously declared to be multi-racial is open to question.

        • Andy

          So it would be ok to have a ‘National White Police Officers Association’.

          • Turdson Minor

            Apartheid lite.

        • HookesLaw

          I know the UK is affiliated to this American organisation.
          Even the left have been forced to admit their harping about multiculturalism was wrong and its that among other things which has given us these organisations. But its always been like that – every where has their china towns their Little Italies their petit france.
          What we should have is assimilation. And to be honest we are getting it, the tories have a bus driver’s son as culture secretary. As it happens Sajid Javid’s children are being brought up as christians.

          • Lady Magdalene

            One ethnic minority Minister doesn’t equal assimilation.
            Try visiting Tower Hamlets, Luton, Birmingham, Bedford and you’ll see what mass immigration and multiculturalism has done to this country.

        • Donafugata

          Isn’t it extraordinary how if a minority identifies itself as black or Asian it is acceptable but if the majority does the same, it is construed as racist?

          The EU is currently busying itself with legislation to prevent Muslims being given a separate identity while Muslims, resident in Europe are desperate to distinguish themselves from the “kaffir”.

        • Hexhamgeezer

          Do they racially profile prospective members?

          • MirthaTidville


      • James Strong

        Because they are racists.
        Or would be if it wasn’t only white people who can be racist, of course.

    • Realpolitik

      I’m on my way to the National Black Police Association to complain, then I’ll sell my story to “The Voice” newspaper.

    • telemachus

      Mischief as usual
      Minorities and underdogs have always legitimately had associations
      My concern is that this august body chose to invite the dangerous Gove to speak. And mor that Keith Vaz one of our stars should think to praise the skunk

      • Andy

        So a National White Police Officers Association is perfectly acceptable ? If not why is a Black version acceptable ???

        • mohdanga

          You keep talking like this we’ll have you hauled off to ‘sensitivity training’!!
          You should know by now that only whites are racist and all the world’s evils are the result of whitey’s imperialism, colonialism, hegemony, xenophobia, blah, blah, blah.
          Wonder how a White Businessman’s Association would go over in say, Hong Kong or Delhi? Or in South Africa. Due to the brainwashing over the last 50 years in our education system and the tsunami of liberal white guilt perpetuated in the mass media and academia it has become entrenched in the brains of whites (well, those who are in positions of power) that somehow any ethnic group other than whites are to be lauded for recognizing and promoting their culture since whitey somewhere along the way exploited them.

      • Colonel Mustard

        Associations are one thing. Discriminatory awards another.

      • Baron

        Baron for one could stomach the rainbow of ‘minorities and underdogs’ associations if they led to a noticeable improvement of the life of the ‘minorities and underdogs’ unwashed, They haven’t, telemachus, all that these associations (and the legislation of a similar kind) have achieved is they infuriate the majority (read the postings here and elsewhere), turn those they’re supposed to help into victims every time they don’t get what they want on merits.

        Look at football, there isn’t yet a Black Footballer Association (one is being considered), yet a quarter of Premier and League players are black or ethnic, far above the ratio in the society as a whole. Why do you think that is?

        • telemachus

          As you well know the Black Premier League players need not a minority association
          Each one earns more than all the posters on this site combined

  • Smithersjones2013

    I agree. Keith Vaz’s smarm is offensive (can someone furnish a bucket). He would be a perfect addition to Cameron’s ‘modernised’ [sic] Tory Party

    • sylvesterthecat

      You’ve missed the ‘k’ of sick and the brackets are superfluous.

  • Rhoda Klapp8

    Do not disparage the famous inventor of Vazeline.

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