Tory MPs develop new Eton game

24 March 2014

Tory MPs from less privileged backgrounds than their leader have developed a fun new game to play in the members’ tea room: drawing up definitive rankings of Polite Old Etonians and Rude Old Etonians.

I hear that the polite list includes Jesse Norman, Zac Goldsmith and Jacob Rees Mogg, while the rude list features not only the PM but his chief whip Sir George Young, who is accused of ‘arrogance’. Apparently Sir George doesn’t say hello to people in the corridor.

Keen bean Rory Stewart is also on the rude list: ‘People don’t mind ambition in parliament, but vaulting Shakespearean ambition is a bit of a turn off,’ whispers one game player. Will an Etonian ever lead the party again?

Give the perfect gift this Christmas. Buy a subscription for a friend for just £75 and you’ll receive a free gift too. Buy now.

Show comments
  • Peter Stroud

    Perhaps Sir George Young is not really rude, but is too tall to notice his associates in the corridors.

  • Fergus Pickering

    Look at those boys. Do they LOOK different from other boys. To me they look just the same.I expect they sound different, but anyone can learn to talk posh. I can do it myself..

  • matt

    If the question really is “will an Etonian lead the party again?”, as opposed to “when will an Etonian lead the party again?”, then the answer from those of us who are actually conservatives and want to see the party connect with the electorate in a meaningful way and win an overall majority has to be a resounding NO!

  • Frank

    I am glad that they have a new game, but perhaps it might be more helpful if they turned their minds to doing some work for the country? The game sounds incredibly camp, but perhaps that is not surprising…

  • Ron Todd

    Will a working class person ever lead any of the parties again?

    • madasafish

      Name me the last one…

      • Rockin Ron

        John Major – total disaster.

    • Count Dooku


  • The Laughing Cavalier

    Perhaps Dave’s rudeness stems from the insecurity of knowing that he was not born a Gentleman and that he has not become one of Nature’s.

    • Kitty MLB

      Cameron Rude ? this is the man who hugs hoodies,
      maybe he was having a moment.

  • Kitty MLB

    Perhaps Sir George ( who I assumed to be the most polite gentleman in politics)
    was in a grouchy mood, woebegone me and all that.. very brooding and English.
    Maybe he should produce one of those ghastly fake American smiles and say:
    ‘have a nice day’ to a face and thinking all manner of dark thoughts behind ones back.
    Saying that Jacob Rees-Mogg ( or Bertie Wooster, as he is known for some unfathomable reason) represents the more eccentric and jolly part of Englishness
    a very good and genuine chap.
    Yes, I hope an Eton boy will lead again, a very fine school. We must not allow the envy and prejudice of others to poison our thoughts.
    You mention Jesse Norman… I hope he has not been getting into any scraps..
    a bit rebellious is that one.

    • rtj1211

      I don’t think its envy, more that people don’t think that going to Eton per se makes you Prime Ministerial material.

      If you had lived outside the SE, you would be asking questions about Boris Johnson’s capability for running the country, rather than running it for the benefit of London. You’d ask whether he has yet learned to get his foot out of his mouth when in Liverpool. You’d ask whether he was capable of basic due diligence concerning war prospectuses (he wasn’t in 2002, was he?) And you’d ask what his judgement of people is like (since he hired rather a lot of people who turned out not to be suitable rather quickly, didn’t he?!)

      He’s spent a lifetime in the media and in politics and it shows. He is master of the media and many question whether he has even progressed to the level of apprentice on more weighty matters.

      He does of course in our marvellous democracy have the chance to prove that he has matured like a Bordeaux Cru rather than having turned into vinegar, after all.

      And luckily for him, most people under the age of 50 couldn’t care two hoots who he’s been sleeping with although they would have no sympathy for him if his wife took him to the cleaners financially, since he would have brought it all on himself.

      • Fergus Pickering

        Boris has no need to go to Liverpool ever again. Good Lord, nobody should have to go to Liverpool.

Can't find your Web ID? Click here