Culture House Daily

In defence of the hipster

21 February 2014

I can see one now. (They’re hard to miss.) Face the colour of mayonnaise, Gameboy dangling from one ear, gerbils for shoes, an alpaca for a hat, glasses the size of a window frame. It’s what we call in the profession an arse.

Don’t mock him. Hold that snigger. He may be an arse, but he’s a important arse. A vital member of our community. An engine room of creativity. Future fashion norms – norms that you and I will take for granted – will be developed and stabilised by this sad, desperate, sex-starved arse.

Claim your gift

Like Jesus, their sacrifice is for mankind. Ridiculed, jeered at, shunned, they must forgo the possibility of making friends, getting laid and meeting anyone without them laughing their face off. Every day they must rise and clothe themselves in something suitably dickish, just so that one day they might hit upon something actually half decent that the rest of society can copy and benefit from.

So, let’s acknowledge their importance in the progress of humanity. They are a kind of public service. Without them, we’d still be in flares. We’d still be wearing those jumbo collars you see in Cardiff. It was hipsters who dragged us away from the madness of distressed jeans and frameless glasses. It is hipsters who will be the first to lead us out of skinny-jeans hell, through the Red Sea, into boot-cut plenty.

So let’s show some solidarity for the hipster. We need them. Without them, we’d all still look like this:

N'Sync in 2001. Photo: P R /EMPICS Entertainment

N’Sync in 2001. Photo: P R /EMPICS Entertainment

Give the perfect gift this Christmas. Buy a subscription for a friend for just £75 and you’ll receive a free gift too. Buy now.

Show comments
  • pearlsandoysters

    Hipsters are not useful for society, once they just attract attention by means of weird fashion. It’s much easier to put on odd pieces of attire and declare own quiddity instead of putting some effort into actually doing something of worth.

  • BarkingAtTreehuggers

    Can I say this, I know I am a bit behind the times now (a day?) but that chap on the photograph looks remarkably like Eddie the Eagle.

  • Kitty MLB

    Are hipsters similar to plus fours, what the devil are they?

  • Fergus Pickering

    I thought hipsters belonged to the 1950s.

  • Hipster Approved

    God…boy bands suck! ;-C=8

  • mitate

    hipsters? hipsters dug jazz. lived in the US. were properly edgy.

  • Cyril Sneer

    There should be a national cull of left wing hipsters.

    • Kitty MLB

      So they are leftie items of clothing are they not what I thought,
      and I also forgot to look at the photo, clearly only suitable for teenage boys.

  • alexander

    Move from a middle class bubble to experience edginess and diversity and in doing so incrementally reduce the edginess and diversity until a middle class bubble is recreated

  • La Fold

    Hipsters dont look like that anymore. Its all beards, turned up jeans and hiking boots. they look like the hitler youth rambling club. Leave them to their highly cut drugs and copies of Vice magazine and whatever bunch of camden tobies they’re copying now and let the young trendies such as myself lead the charge. PS Boot cut? What is this 1997? Have you just heard of the Verve? Those in the know have also known its been about the loose fit.

Can't find your Web ID? Click here