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New minister’s crackdown on beefy builders baring big bottoms

10 October 2013

It’s been a busy first few days in the new job for Jane Ellison, who took over as Public Health Minister this week. She’s been dealing with big bottoms – those belonging to builders and hanging over trousers, no less.

A cheeky press release from the Department of Health – which features a man with the title ‘Britain’s favourite builder’, Tommy Walsh – this afternoon announced ‘Britain’s beefy builders say bye bye to baring bottoms’, adding that ‘the image of the bottom baring, overweight builder is being replaced by workers who are hands-on well-oiled machines’.

Once you get to the, er, bottom, of what on earth the department is talking about, you find that this is simply a new pledge to help construction workers become more healthy, not some sort of ban on big bottoms. If you’re a builder with a pert backside, it seems Jane Ellison is very happy for you to go on as you are.

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Show comments
  • Ripple

    The bottoms in the picture aren’t big. They look promising, they might possibly be rather nice, even if it’s ‘too much information’. The problem with men usually is not that they have too much bottom but rather, too little. I’m with the Tamsin Greig character when she thanks her lucky stars for finding a man at last with a ‘nice &rse!’.

  • swatnan

    You won’t find many E European builders with a cleft wide enough to park a bike.
    Best news to come out of the Ministry for years.

  • David Booth.

    Perhaps we should form a “Taste Police Task Force” to monitor builders attire.
    They could be drawn from our overweight, bullet headed, boot faced, sections of our boys, and girls, in blue.

  • stickytape

    And the Government thinks this has something to do with it because……………..?

  • telemachus

    If you’re a builder with a pert backside, it seems Jane Ellison is very happy for you to go on as you are.
    Now if we started saying that sort of thing about Jane, think what trouble we would be in
    This is the kind of tripe you expect if you promote on gender slate not talent
    Most females are sensible enough not to want to represent the Tories and this is why Cameron’s material for promotion is so poor

    • telemackus

      Quite right. We national socialists have that lovely android Rachel Reeves and the face-like-a-slapped-halibut Flint, and the gorgeous Eagle brothers, and lumpy Harman, and ladyboy Yvette. Mmmmmm.

      • Colonel Mustard

        Women in Parliament. Ghastly on so many fronts.

        • Daniel Maris

          Except for the one who used to give you the hots…come on, admit it…begins with an M.

          • Colonel Mustard

            I can assure you unequivocally that Maggie never “gave me the hots” much as I might admire her grit. But I should have qualified my comment as “Women in Parliament today”.

    • Colonel Mustard

      And tripe is certainly something you an expert in.

  • Two Bob

    Jealousy thats all it is.

  • Smithersjones2013

    Does the taxpayer’s money really get wasted on such garbage? Whoever’s stupid (and condescendingly arrogant ~ if any job gives you a fat backside it’s sitting in an office making up purile press releases) idea this was should be sacked and made to work as a hod carrier.

    Furthermore is there noi=t a whiff of misandry about this (was it a women’s idea by any chance?)?

    • TheOtherGuy

      I actually think it’s quite a clever way of making a pretty boring announcement quite interesting. Would any of us reading this article have known about this announcement or even who Jane Ellison is had it not been for a “cheeky press release”?

      • Daniel Maris

        Yep the froth is more important than the coffee.

  • HookesLaw

    I think I grasped the message of it all before being told thanky you Mr Steerpike.
    Sadly a lot of ladioes sem to be reduced to showing theor cheek as well these days.

    I imagine al;so that this thing was started before the reshuffle.

    There is nothing wrong with encouraging builders to be healthy. Constuction is a dangerous enough occupation as it is.

    • the viceroy’s gin

      Fortunately, with the socialist Cameroon economy and negative real growth expected for some time now, there won’t be much construction work available. So, many of the builders can remain safely unemployed. No worries.

    • PaderB

      “Sadly a lot of ladies sem to be reduced to showing their cheek as well these days.”

      There is nothing ‘lady like’ about the women that show large portions of their backsides, especially when it reveals the majority of those awful ‘thong’ undergarments.

      • Ripple

        What’s so awful about them, as long as no one’s looking that shouldn’t?

  • itdoesntaddup

    I presume Jane Ellison is less photogenic than the builders?

    • Smithersjones2013

      Actually there are considerable similarities (think about it)…….

  • The Red Bladder

    Well as a ministerial career start I reckon she’s hit a bum note with that one.

    • DavidL

      Oh dear – scraping the bottom of the barrel with that one…

      • The Red Bladder


    • stickytape

      She could be in a hole lot of trouble.

      • The Red Bladder

        Well if ministers and other MPs were forced to cover their backsides we would never be able to hear what they’re saying.

  • Alexsandr

    Has Jane Ellison got a fat ar$e?

    • Colonel Mustard

      Well it doesn’t look especially svelte from this angle.

      • Daniel Maris

        Oh dear – people in glass houses and all that…

        • Daniel Maris

          Actually people who can’t fit in the glass houses also shouldn’t throw stones…

      • MirthaTidville

        Ah yes the fragrant Miss Jarse…………………Hugh to her friends

    • stickytape

      That would be a yes.

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