Among the more bizarre parts of Natalie Rowe’s Chief Whip, of which Mr S wrote earlier, is her alleged encounter with Marvin Gaye. The scribbling dominatrix even claims that she sang a duet with the deceased singer while they were on their way to buy cocaine at six in the morning:
‘As we walked an idea hit me. “Marvin?” “Yeah.” “Could we sing a duet?” “Sure. What do you want to sing?” “You Are Everything.” I cleared my throat and started to sing and he sang back. It had been a long night and our throats weren’t at their freshest but, as he held my hand as we sang in the summer dawn, I thought this had to be one of the most serene moments of my life.’
You can’t blame a girl for asking… But you can blame Rowe for this abysmal book, which Mr S has read so you don’t have to. His favourite moment is this preposterous description of one of Rowe’s clients:
‘For once I was lost for words. He looked a little — no — he looked a lot like former Nazi Reich Chancellor Adolf Hitler. He had the same haircut and, yes, unbelievably, the same little moustache. “My name is Gunther,” he offered. “We spoke on the phone.” I regained my composure. “Yes, of course, come in.” Minutes later, I was pushing down with all my strength, suffocating Gunther — who was tied to the bed — with a pillow. This wasn’t because I wanted to kill the little Hitler lookalike; he was just into suffocation.’
The ‘former Nazi Reich Chancellor’. Is there a current one? Anyone would think that she was trying to top up the word count.