Scottish people are more generous than English people, contrary to the widely held belief that the Jocks are comically tight-fisted. A new study suggests that they are more likely to give money to charity than English people. I suppose it would only cause unnecessary offence if I suggested that the money they’re so happy to give to charity is, actually, ours. Anyway, this survey was published to mark Red Nose Day, when every BBC light entertainer not yet arrested by Operation Yewtree was deputed to personally groom you to hand over your dosh in a series of, I daresay, hilarious and wacky stunts. As a mark of the relentless vaulting ambition of this fascistic celebrity smugfest, a red nose has been sent into space by the BBC, (along with a proportion of your licence fee.) This will lead alien life-forms to decide, on the spot, never to visit a planet inhabited seemingly exclusively by the sort of people who lick windows.