Coffee House

A Royal Holiday

23 November 2010

Kate Middleton and Prince William will marry on Friday 29th April at Westminster Abbey.
I can scarcely contain my indifference, even at this early stage; but congratulations to them all the same.

Number 10 has confirmed that the occasion will be marked by a public holiday. There is, you see, nothing like a right Royal bash and the darling buds of May to dispel the privations of austerity
ahead of awkward elections and a referendum on 5th May. Then again, an Arctic breeze and intermittent hail will have the opposite effect.  

Give the perfect gift this Christmas. Buy a subscription for a friend for just £75 and you’ll receive a free gift too. Buy now.

Show comments
  • Anne Wotana Kaye 1

    Pot Head and Verity: The horrible couple married on Aprl 29th (according to the history books) just before Hitler killed his bride and topped himself. All this in the bunker.

  • alexsandr

    Archibald@November 24th, 2010 12:24am

    ‘… if someone gives me a jug like that, they better have a good proctologist’


  • Dimoto

    Victor Southern:
    How embarrassing for you …. engage brain first, next time ?

  • Archibald

    What on earth is that monstrosity in the picture? I really don’t understand why every Royal wedding seems to come with a wide range of utter crap that you can buy to commemorate the day with. We’re not in Italy you know, let’s leave the bizarre gifts to Catholicism. I propose we have a special edition gin brought out for the occasion, and perhaps a couple of wedding themed real ale names. Nothing more. This is not antipathy you understand, or even anti-fun. All I’m saying is, if someone gives me a jug like that, they better have a good proctologist.

  • lescam

    Victor Southern;

    Occasional Ostrich was referring to Princess Elizabeth’s WEDDING, not her Coronation. By the time of her coronation she would have been Queen, not Princess. The wedding took place in November 1947 (I remember it quite well) when Attlee was PM. Clothing coupons were still being issued, and as far as I recall most foods were still on ration at the time.

  • merlinthepig

    DB – This posting just makes you sound like a Grade A tit.

  • Peter From Maidstone

    I shall certainly make every effort to be on the street somewhere to cheer with some of my family. I am glad that it does not clash with Holy Week.

  • Victor Southern

    Queen Elizabeth’s Coronation was in 1953. Clement Atlee ceased to be Prime Minister in 1951. Churchill was PM again when the Queen was crowned and there was no coinsideration of austerity anywhere. Only meat still had some rationing but that ended a few months later.

  • Occasional Ostrich

    Paddy & lescam

    Of COURSE they should push the boat out.

    As for austerity, I’ve been informed that Princess Elizabeth suggested an austerity wedding, but Clement Attlee asked if the boat could be pushed out, in the interest of raising national morale.
    In 2011 an austerity wedding will be even less necessary and one can see already, as the machine cranks into action, jobs being provided by the spin-off in memorabilia.

  • Ron Todd

    Another holiday big deal Ive still got three weeks left over to take.

    Everything will be closed it will be like having an extra Sunday and we have more than enough of them already.

  • Victor Southern

    £6-billion a day. Let me see, if we abandon the existing 8 public holidays and Sundays off we would be £360 billion better off as a nation.

    At least, Mr Blackburn, if you choose to bore us with your ennui do not fall back on dogy maths.

    Stay in bed on the 27th April.

  • John David Barnett

    God bless both of them! I cannot contain my enthusiasm and don’t even wish to.

    I hope it turns out to be a wonderful and tumultuous occasion.

  • Percy

    Listening to the radio it seems its England, Wales and Northern Ireland who are having bank holiday, why not our workshy Caledonian cousins, thet’re usually very keen on days off.

  • lescam

    November 23rd, 2010 2:03pm

    “I don’t want an “austerity” wedding. I hope they really push the boat out”.

    Absolutely agree, 100%. I want to see a big, splashy, full-on, ostentatious WEDDING, with all the trimmings. If the marriage of the (2nd) heir to the throne isn’t an excuse for a celebration, what is? I do hope they don’t cut down on the fun and have a cut-price, utility wedding. Blow the expense, a few more pence on our taxes will hardly be noticed, we are paying so much already. Although I don’t see why the foreign aid money can’t be used for paying for the security, etc. Better to spend it in this country than waste it in Africa.

    As for all the moaners, the killjoys etc who love to appear “indifferent” to the fun of it all, sod them. Go home and moan to yourselves, and let the rest of us enjoy it.

  • ajs

    Would someone point out the source – and its arithmetic – for this alleged £6 billion cost of a (partially) missed day’s work in modern GB? And who is it going to “cost” this alleged amount? I have grave doubts about all such “costs”; they often turn out to be based on flimsy and/or biassed data.

  • Mycroft

    I’m an intellectual, you see, so I find all this royal flummery ineffably boring; but to make absolutely sure quite how superior I am, I have to announce to all and sundry how ineffably boring I find it. What a pointless and self-regarding post. A good debagging would be in order.

  • Verity

    Pot Head – I didn’t know they were married!

  • Peter From Maidstone

    DB, then why say you can barely contain your indifference? It just makes it sound like you are jumping on the republican sad-wagon. Why not investigate all the potential benefits of the wedding? I am glad that you will remember the Royal Family in your prayers. You don’t have to own anything to recognise the value of the monarchy as an institution and its being preferable to any possible candidates for president, so I am not sure what the reference to your estates are?

  • David Ossitt

    While we are on the subject, all of this rubbish in the press, of how a majority would prefer William instead of his father Charles as our next king, is codswallop of the highest order.

    This is not the X Factor or some phone in shopping channel, where we have an opportunity to vote for the winner, this is a Constitutional Monarchy, where the next in line becomes Monarch.

  • old fogey

    Mr Blackburn, I can scarcely contain my indifference at your indifference; why do you bother us, and come betweeen the reader and the story, by inflicting your oh so exquisite and superior views on the royal wedding.

  • Hugh

    Have I strayed onto the Guardian’s CIF pages by mistake? If you do support the institution of the monarchy (and I sort of expected the Spectator might) then the fact the future king is getting married is in fact good news, and the occasion one for celebration. The personal congratulations to a couple you’re never going to know or meet on the other hand is self-regarding, sentimental tosh surely.

  • David Blackburn

    Peter from Maidstone, Norman Dee and Nicholas Hallam, get a grip. The other sentences in this very short post are devoted to the darling buds of May and Arctic winds! If I was an avowed metropolitan Republican, the tone would have been just a tad sterner. I may even have illustrated it with a picture of John Lilburne, included a Youtube video of the some scrubber belting out the Marseillaise and signed off as Dennis Skinner.

    As it is, I shall return to one of my estates this evening and remember Her Majesty and her family in my prayers.

  • David Ossitt

    David Blackburn.

    “I can scarcely contain my indifference, even at this early stage; but congratulations to them all the same.”

    David; I never suspected you of being a republican.

  • Mark Cannon

    If you are so indifferent, Mr Blackburn, don’t write about the forthcoming wedding. The rest of us will be having a party and cheering on the happy couple. You can sit it out.

  • Nicholas

    Consitutional monarchy. Yes, a better proposition than the likes of Baroness Ashton as Head of State.

  • Peter From Maidstone

    I run two small businesses. The cost of a Bank Holiday is not 6 billion. There are very few businesses in the country that are working at 110% of capacity every day of the year and so are unable to take up the slack of one day. People will be out and about in a good mood. Lots of businesses will profit both in the run up to the wedding and on the day. Who cares what a bunch of sad republicans think.

  • Peter From Maidstone

    Who cares what you think, David Blackburn. If you haven’t got anything pleasant and kind to say then don’t say anything. Why post about something you appear not to care about.

  • Chris lancashire

    I run a small business, am not particularly royalist and fairly indifferent to the wedding. Despite all that I recognise it will cheer up a lot of people, maybe improve the national mood and so, despite the cost to my business, I’m in favour.

  • alexsandr

    I think a royal wedding will do good for the economy
    the yanks will come over in droves, and there will be loads of crap (and beer)in the shops to stimulate demand.

  • Norman Dee

    Sometimes it makes me wonder what goes on in the minds of people like you Mr Blackburn, is it really so uncool in London circles to be a monarchist ? or is it only for private ? Are you afraid you will lose your “street cred” if you even show a glint of enthusiasm for what is a happy national event ?. For goodness sake as for the cost, considering the s**t we are in our contribution will be a drop in the ocean. Perhaps we could stop giving money to trade unions to pay for it, should we ask Gordon Brown for some of the money back that he has earned in the last 6 months under false pretences. There are a lot of very undeserving people taking huge amounts from the till all the time let them pay for it, hold back some money from the EU I am sure people would prefer Willaim and Kate to have rather than see rumpy pumpy and his gang piss it against a foreign wall. Bah humbug Blackburn

  • Pot Head

    April 29th is the same day Adolf Hitler married Eva Braun. Just saying :)

  • Paddy

    I don’t want an “austerity” wedding.

    I hope they really push the boat out.

  • Nicholas Hallam

    “I can scarcely contain my indifference”.

    I know that it has become the overwhelming fashion in intellectual circles to sneer at royal events, but I hadn’t expected to find it at the Coffee House except in Rod Liddle’s harmless mischievous rants.

    To anyone who believes in the continuing value of constitutional monarchy, the marriage of a future heir to the throne is an event of importance.

  • Robert Eve

    A Royal Wedding soon to be followed by NO2AV.

    Sounds good to me!

  • Maggie

    Curmudgeons and wet blankets who keep boring everyone to death with what they feel/don’t like/don’t agree with about the Wedding/Royals etc blah blah blah should be allowed to go to work as usual. They’re far too tedious to have around on a wedding day.

  • Austin Barry

    I wonder whether the choice of this date is an arcane Royal Joke.

    On 29 April 1986, the Duchess of Windsor, Wallis Simpson, was buried next to her husband, the abdicated King Edward VIII, at Frogmore in Windsor.

    A hint to Charles and Camilla perhaps?

  • Steve E.

    The Federation of Small Businesses estimates that the cost of a Bank Holiday is in excess of £6 billion. With the proposed bail-out of the Irish banks costing the taxpayers a further £7 billion, that’s a awful lot of money for a supposed ‘bankrupt’ country to be throwing around.

  • AngloWelshDragon

    Is an an ‘artic breeze’ that which follows in the wake of a large HGV? Or do you mean Arctic?

Can't find your Web ID? Click here